The toast game lives and dies by its witnesses. The essence of the game is our lack of trust in "taking your word" about doing it. We want proof.

Enter the accredited witness. We trust them. Mostly because they tell us their names before playing, showing their commitment to truth. Or something. Once you are a witness you can even vouch for yourself as a winner, making the whole "having to make out with someone in front of another person" problem go away.

The standards aren't high for becoming an accredited witness. Mostly it involves telling us your name and emailing a picture to toastgame@gmail.com. You can give us more information if you want, including your height, weight, SSN, and sexual fantasies, and we might post them here if we are entertained enough.

Even this dude could be a witness.

Once you become a witness, you can print off this fancy certificate proving that you are an accredited toast game witness. You can frame it, hang it on your wall, and tell your parents that you are prouder of it than your college education. Or not. Your choice.

We will post a list of at least some of the accredited witness below. We probably won't post everyone cause we are very, very lazy.

More Witnesses / More Witnesses / More Witnesses

Eat more toast.